i carry your hearts in my heart

I can just go on and on about my baby Jacob.  Everything he does is amazing.  I can literally stare at him all day.  It all melts my heart!  I can't believe how much I love my son.  I mean, people say this all the time but I really cannot describe in my own words all the love that I have for this little boy.  My heart aches with all of the love I have for him.  Anyway, back to all of the new stuff he is doing!

24 weeks and so much hair!

Grandma P took Jake, Cousin A, and myself to do some grocery shopping.  It was Jacob's first time to sit in the front of the shopping cart.  He stayed pretty upright himself but I did have to use an extra blanket and my coat to help keep him up.

I like this view! 

E came by this week and treated me and Jake to some yummy lunch!  It was so delicious but painfully, they didn't have the dessert I was craving.  Guess who sat in a highchair?  Yep, it was Jake's first time in a highchair and he lasted about half way through the meal.  He did awesome!  It was good to have some adult company.  : )  Mommy needed that.

Super Baby!

I'll have what she's having. 

We went to second cousin A2's first birthday party!  It was chilly but we got to do a ton of fun things!  We watched a clown do magic tricks and make balloon animals, Jacob swung in a swing for the first time with cousin A and we got to meet none other than Elmo!!  It was super cool!

Jacob had his first "meal" today!  I mashed up some yummy avocado and daddy held him while I fed him.  He wasn't too sure how he felt about the avocado.  Jake ended up eating about 7 small bites before I stopped giving him some.

This is good?

I am so grateful for having Jacob with me here so that I can hold him, kiss him, love him.  I can't help but to think about my sweet angel baby too.  Jacob's brother will be gone from us for almost a full year now.  My heart still aches for my baby who is waiting for mommy, daddy and twin brother Jacob in heaven.  I still haven't come to grips with it yet.  I still feel angry and cheated but I feel bad to express that because then I feel guilty for not being completely grateful for what we have now.  I am hoping that by including this here, in black and white, it will give me some peace.  Mommy loves you angel baby.
      

For my sweet babies: 

    i carry your heart with me

ee cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Jacob = 23 weeks!

Jacob is growing as fast as a weed!  Just some quick stats from his well check.  He is just about 19 pounds and is a little over 26 inches long.  Wowza!  I look at him and can't believe all of that was in all of this.  Hahaha.  He received another vaccine today and again, he showed that shot who was boss.  Not even a flinch out of this big boy!  I think he gets his high tolerance of pain from mommy!

Look at me!  I'm 23 weeks already! 

Jake has this new pouty face that he does more deliberately now.  If he is with someone that he doesn't want to be with (which is almost everyone in the world other than mommy right now) he will make this really sad face.  I will admit, I LOVE to see it and sometimes I try to cause him to make that face but only because it is sooooooo, sooooo, soooooo cute.

Who wouldn't think this face isn't super cute?

Jacob is starting to recognize his fur brother Brady more.  When Brady gets close, Jake will reach out to touch him.  Brady is super sweet and gentle towards him.  I have a feeling that the two of them are going to become the best of friends.

Oh, Jake is starting to sit up on his own.  I mean, it's less than like 10 seconds but mommy and daddy are so proud.  He is also getting into screaming matches with us.  I guess it's a small glimpse into our future when he will scream about how much he loves his mommy & daddy and how he will happily do his chores.  *Fingers Crossed*    He figured out that he has a top lip to suck on.  It is now his favorite lip.

Yes, I can!  Well, almost!

Where have you been all of my life upper lip?! 

Daddy is our FAVORITE Photographer and is SUPER talented!  

 

Five Month Mark! Hooray!

22 weeks!

Wow.  Where did these 5 months go? ! ? Jakey is growing so quickly and time is just racing by.  In all honesty, I think way back (LOL like 5 months is way back) to times before Jake and I don't even remember what I did with my time.  Ya, I went on some amazing vacations and spent time with loved ones, but what did I do with all of the other bits and pieces in between?  Okay, okay.  Let me come back from that tangent because I could speculate for hours upon hours about where my time went. 

Jacob's personality is really starting to blossom.  After months of saying, "Jacob! Look at me baby!  Here I am Jacob!", he will now turn. . . and. . . look!  He can recognize his name, or some other version of it.  It is sooo cute to watch his face.  He will hear his name, then slowly. turn. his. big. wobbly. head to look.  : ) Jake is also reaching for people he wants to go with when approached with open arms.  He will 'dis' a person too.  He's even been bold enough to 'dis' me when grandma P was holding him.  : ' (  That did break my heart just a little bit but it surely did make my mom happy. ; )

Since Jacob is quickly outgrowing his bathtub, a.k.a. kitchen sink, grandma P & grandpa W bought him a new tub.  It's actually this really cute rubber ducky tub.  It has a skid proof lining so Jake's slippery booty doesn't slip and slide everywhere.  Jacob really enjoys being able to be submerged up to his chest now.  He will also go to town kicking his feet so he can splash me or daddy.  

I love to relax in my rubber ducky!

Jacob seemed to enjoy his first Thanksgiving!  It was full of food (yes, still nursing!), family and fun!  He is now more interested in other people's drinks.  I have to be on the look-out every time I take a drink.  It's so cute!  His eyes will lock in on the glass, then he will follow it like a hawk waiting for the perfect moment to strike.  Once it comes in to reaching distance, it is all over.  If you don't move quickly, your drink will be his.  I'm not going to lie, he has had a sip of mommy's water and tea and now he's hooked.   

Jake's hand and feet prints!